Dear Pranav,
It's been 20 months since you set foot in the world. When I held you for the first time in my arms at the hospital, your tiny hands
Your clenched fist reminded me of a science lesson that said to get an idea about the size of your heart, you should clench your fist. I could imagine the little heart throbbing inside you. The eternal miracle of birth. When it was my turn to witness it, I cried.
Before I married your mother, I used to debate one question endlessly with my friend. Which is, "Is it really worth bringing another life into this world?" Especially when terror has become an ugly leitmotif in the canvas of our lives?
When I switched on the TV that Wednesday night, the question of whether I was right in bringing you into this world haunted me again.
This is my attempt at an answer. Call it catharsis.
I feel there are two ways to raise you. One is to wean you on cynicism. Where you'll erect a sky-high wall in your mind and live your life pouring scorn on everything you see. Which is one way of insulating yourself from fear... A kind of indifferent machismo.
The other way is to prepare you to live in this world. I can't imagine the world for you, son. But i can certainly show you the way to live in an uncertain world. Make a pact with yourself. Understand the following early on.
Life is precious. And equally fragile. So every day is a gift. Get up early once in a while just to watch the sun rise. Stare at it intently and burn it in your memory. Be aware of every passing second. Look around you. There's a thin stalk of plant finding its place under the sun in a crevice on the wall of our apartment.
Appreciate mother's cooking. Praise it to heavens... Make it a habit to eat together as a family. No, make it a rule. Fall in love with books. Words will transport you to worlds far away. It will also keep you informed and prepared.
Follow your heart. The mind can waver but the heart seldom does. Respect your conscience. It's like a post-it note from God.
When you grow up, seek a job you love. As you enter the world of careers and cocktails, you'll get sucked into a vortex called rat race. Don't be overwhelmed. We're all human. But have the courage to step out of it. Nothing will be lost. Some illusions will shatter. Good riddance.
Money. It's important. But it has its place. Don't make the mistake of putting it right on top.
Find your love. Hold it dearly. Be a good husband. A patient father. Give your children space to make their mistakes. But hold them when they fall.
Speak up when you have to. Like this occasion. Whether we like it or not, we're living in a democracy. Sure it has its pitfalls. But don't forget the positives too. The real fight in a democracy is between remembering and forgetting. Go and vote. It's your chance to give shape to the kind of society you want to live in.
Be alert. But try not to live in a state of fear.
It you were to get caught in a situation similar to what happened and should we lose you, then you will have left us with enough lovely memories for the remaining years. That will only happen if you start living every day like it is the last day of your life. Though it can never compensate your loss, at least we'll find strength in your love for life.
Don't have regrets. They defeat the very purpose of life.
Immersed as I am in work most of the time, this letter is also a wake-up call for me.
Love, Dad
PS: Content has been created by RAJESH MANI (TOI)
Friday, 30 January 2009
Friday, 2 January 2009
Listen Plzz !!
It's Human that we talk and try to make others listen more than what we want our self to listen.But many a times we get a understandable reaction and change our moves to listen.
Now think of the situation where we are not able to judge the reaction. And this happens when we talk to GOD.How many times in day we talk to God about our dreams, our aspirations. Some time in front of Worship place, some times in Mind , some times walking and all the time we expect him to listen and act. Consider this - how many times have we waited for his reply , how many times have we listened to him, Lot more lesser or none in comparison to what we have been telling him.
But God do react with the action in our life, some times which is inline with our plan and sometimes which is out of line.But we forget to consider what his plan is..For us.. for our aspirations.. Just sit down once and think how many times have you achieved what you wanted but by different means..
Lot of people tell me that i am optimist ..thats the reason why i debate that got give it in his own way. But i am firm believer that GOD does react.
Just listen to him, listen to his plans, listen to his considerations.. When ever we ask somebody a help or support we agree to his demands and conditions , but when we ask GOD we forget that just because he created us!!! Is it sensible to do so..Nopes
The primary reason behind this is that GOD is not demanding, he never asks you to visit temple regularly, He never asks you to Do nimaz regularly or visit Church!!
I think once god also starts demanding we will understand his way or working .. but there also is issue.
issue is that we humans have tendency to expect results if we do something..that's why i think GOD has not demanded anything for us.
Lot of times i think there should be a introspection among the Intelligentsia across world , across religions to design a model which makes GOD and Humans libel for there acts !!
So Act smart and Plzz Listen !!
Now think of the situation where we are not able to judge the reaction. And this happens when we talk to GOD.How many times in day we talk to God about our dreams, our aspirations. Some time in front of Worship place, some times in Mind , some times walking and all the time we expect him to listen and act. Consider this - how many times have we waited for his reply , how many times have we listened to him, Lot more lesser or none in comparison to what we have been telling him.
But God do react with the action in our life, some times which is inline with our plan and sometimes which is out of line.But we forget to consider what his plan is..For us.. for our aspirations.. Just sit down once and think how many times have you achieved what you wanted but by different means..
Lot of people tell me that i am optimist ..thats the reason why i debate that got give it in his own way. But i am firm believer that GOD does react.
Just listen to him, listen to his plans, listen to his considerations.. When ever we ask somebody a help or support we agree to his demands and conditions , but when we ask GOD we forget that just because he created us!!! Is it sensible to do so..Nopes
The primary reason behind this is that GOD is not demanding, he never asks you to visit temple regularly, He never asks you to Do nimaz regularly or visit Church!!
I think once god also starts demanding we will understand his way or working .. but there also is issue.
issue is that we humans have tendency to expect results if we do something..that's why i think GOD has not demanded anything for us.
Lot of times i think there should be a introspection among the Intelligentsia across world , across religions to design a model which makes GOD and Humans libel for there acts !!
So Act smart and Plzz Listen !!
Tuesday, 5 August 2008
Fearlessly Fearful World ..
It has been going on for sometime in India. Every person is in shock .. with the extent of reach that unsocial elements have got. They are targeting any and every city .
They are fearlessly making people fearful.
It has been a complete failure of system. Intelligence agencies, police , politics everyone.What is the mistake of common man.. noting
What for is an indian paying taxes out of their hard earned money .. to live in fear .. that weather he will come back home or not.
Politics has reached its most lowest point. People only can shout in Parliament and give big speeches .. where is the action..
Bet me, that everyone including me will forget it in next few weeks and everything will be normal except for those who have lost there loved ones in these bomb blasts.
Today we are growing , becoming economically independent but all these incidents are hinderer in our progress..
I strongly recommend to read book named ''Open Secrets''.. it is written by ex chief of RAW and you will understand that this department is not working for nation anymore but for the personal security of politicians.
We have to make it possible , they have to give answerers .. accountability has to be there .. Country is not to make money for personal expenses..
we have to get to the root of cause..
PS : Nothing is going to change. We need to redefine democracy to get the change.It has now become no one enemy of our country .
They are fearlessly making people fearful.
It has been a complete failure of system. Intelligence agencies, police , politics everyone.What is the mistake of common man.. noting
What for is an indian paying taxes out of their hard earned money .. to live in fear .. that weather he will come back home or not.
Politics has reached its most lowest point. People only can shout in Parliament and give big speeches .. where is the action..
Bet me, that everyone including me will forget it in next few weeks and everything will be normal except for those who have lost there loved ones in these bomb blasts.
Today we are growing , becoming economically independent but all these incidents are hinderer in our progress..
I strongly recommend to read book named ''Open Secrets''.. it is written by ex chief of RAW and you will understand that this department is not working for nation anymore but for the personal security of politicians.
We have to make it possible , they have to give answerers .. accountability has to be there .. Country is not to make money for personal expenses..
we have to get to the root of cause..
PS : Nothing is going to change. We need to redefine democracy to get the change.It has now become no one enemy of our country .
Friday, 18 July 2008
Certainly Uncertain
It has been more than a month . yes i was busy dealing with my certainly uncertain thoughts and acts.
Everyone's world revolve around a imaginary center point, and the fun part is that every body wants to reach other end as soon as possible,without realizing that they are running at the same point for long time now. They will have to Jump to other world which is different from there's.
Where they will explore new things , may be better , may be worse but they will find new things.and this uncertainty of events creates the certainty of finding new things.
Now think about this , when was last time you were most excited , introspecting, evaluating all your steps.I will tell you it was when you were moving from uncertainty to Certainty.
The time between the happiness of winning and grief of loss has its own excitement.If you are looking at results in your perspective you will always come to wrong conclusion. Evaluate the Uncertainty and Certainty of the process, you will get a better and clear picture.
Every event has a predecessor and successor, we always try to figure it out and try finding it in outer world of uncertainty,But trust me , whey you will analyze you will come back to yourself only.
So as a commencing remark "Certainly uncertain events create pleasure and every uncertain event has a link which is certainly you"
Everyone's world revolve around a imaginary center point, and the fun part is that every body wants to reach other end as soon as possible,without realizing that they are running at the same point for long time now. They will have to Jump to other world which is different from there's.
Where they will explore new things , may be better , may be worse but they will find new things.and this uncertainty of events creates the certainty of finding new things.
Now think about this , when was last time you were most excited , introspecting, evaluating all your steps.I will tell you it was when you were moving from uncertainty to Certainty.
The time between the happiness of winning and grief of loss has its own excitement.If you are looking at results in your perspective you will always come to wrong conclusion. Evaluate the Uncertainty and Certainty of the process, you will get a better and clear picture.
Every event has a predecessor and successor, we always try to figure it out and try finding it in outer world of uncertainty,But trust me , whey you will analyze you will come back to yourself only.
So as a commencing remark "Certainly uncertain events create pleasure and every uncertain event has a link which is certainly you"
Friday, 20 June 2008
Emotions - Facilitators & Hurdles
Emotions - one of the most strongest element of any creation in this world.
They are not only facilitators but also hurdles sometimes (Most of the times in few cases)
Emotion for loved ones, family , friends. Emotion for things , places and all materialistic things play their respective roles in almost every action that we take.
Things start changing when circumstances comes into picture. The basic fundamental gets disturb.We from childhood are taught that emotions are independent of circumstances.If you love someone,love her not because she always helps you, prep food for you, teach you ,make you pronounce your first word but because she is your mother.But as our mind starts its analytical phase and we start getting things on the basis of choices and circumstances start prevailing.
There can be n-number of examples where if a computer program is run with if-else analysis ( analysis where you have two choices and alternative is selected if the condition is true else next alternative is selected) and given same input as our mind gets, the results will be very different. This is because there is a variable in mind function and that is circumstance.
Strength of the same can be seen in change in perspectives of people when they are in a situation where they have to select options where more than on benifit is involved.
Normally the strength of the alternative is decided according to the benifit it gives to decision maker but when the variable circumstance is attached it changes.
Think of a boy who is fighting with his father to get married to a girl who is not accepted by boy's family.Or think of a person who is himself involved in relationship but doest not allow his sister to have choice in her relationship.These all are circumstantial decisions that one take.The mistake human being makes in these situations is he starts weighing the emotions.Which one is heavier or which one can be amended in second chance means less destructing to avoid.
Let us take another example. A solider - He has his whole family , wife children parents everyone back in his village but he is deputed on border.Now here the emotion of duty, pride , patriotism is heavier and stronger that other(that's why solders are great people) Now lets add and an variable circumstances - 1> Circum 1 : His mother is ill Circum 2 > His son is not well Circum 3 > His wife has some serious health issues etc etc .. Now these circumstance will test the strength of emotion. These circumstance can lead to change in output which was earlier fully guided by emotions.
Most horrifying is that emotions can lead to extreme actions.They can be the creators as well as destroyer of an individual. And if you are an Emotional FOOL(like me) then GOD bless you.(Maximum people are though)
They are not only facilitators but also hurdles sometimes (Most of the times in few cases)
Emotion for loved ones, family , friends. Emotion for things , places and all materialistic things play their respective roles in almost every action that we take.
Things start changing when circumstances comes into picture. The basic fundamental gets disturb.We from childhood are taught that emotions are independent of circumstances.If you love someone,love her not because she always helps you, prep food for you, teach you ,make you pronounce your first word but because she is your mother.But as our mind starts its analytical phase and we start getting things on the basis of choices and circumstances start prevailing.
There can be n-number of examples where if a computer program is run with if-else analysis ( analysis where you have two choices and alternative is selected if the condition is true else next alternative is selected) and given same input as our mind gets, the results will be very different. This is because there is a variable in mind function and that is circumstance.
Strength of the same can be seen in change in perspectives of people when they are in a situation where they have to select options where more than on benifit is involved.
Normally the strength of the alternative is decided according to the benifit it gives to decision maker but when the variable circumstance is attached it changes.
Think of a boy who is fighting with his father to get married to a girl who is not accepted by boy's family.Or think of a person who is himself involved in relationship but doest not allow his sister to have choice in her relationship.These all are circumstantial decisions that one take.The mistake human being makes in these situations is he starts weighing the emotions.Which one is heavier or which one can be amended in second chance means less destructing to avoid.
Let us take another example. A solider - He has his whole family , wife children parents everyone back in his village but he is deputed on border.Now here the emotion of duty, pride , patriotism is heavier and stronger that other(that's why solders are great people) Now lets add and an variable circumstances - 1> Circum 1 : His mother is ill Circum 2 > His son is not well Circum 3 > His wife has some serious health issues etc etc .. Now these circumstance will test the strength of emotion. These circumstance can lead to change in output which was earlier fully guided by emotions.
Most horrifying is that emotions can lead to extreme actions.They can be the creators as well as destroyer of an individual. And if you are an Emotional FOOL(like me) then GOD bless you.(Maximum people are though)
Friday, 23 May 2008
Are we becoming Over intruding.
The recent development in media , especially in news channels - we have become more intruding and unsophisticated. it might be my own impression but i have felt that. Take the instance of Aaurishi Talwar's Case.News channels are using it as a instrument to increase their trps."We got it first to you" , every time you listen to these things.
Then they go beyond that and tell and explain every thing that the victim has , was doing , etc etc.. that is not required to make public..I don't think considering the case if Aarusihi whould had been alive,she would had liked it, that whole world knows ''where is she going , what is she doing , whom she knows , what she eats blah blah ..
So being a sensitive person i personally will request all media channels not to make things tough for the deceased person.
It is a relay unfortunate thing that has happened.She was just going to be 14 , and she was murdered very grossly,It should not be made point of earning money. It should not be used to increase TRPs. It should not be repeated again and again as the Special report - AArushi Murder case - We got it first.
Please don't touch her personal details. Today people across the country even know th e number she had talked. time she had talked.. Place where she was going to give her birthday bash...
It is a pity that we are making money out of all this.
May God rest the Holy sole in Peace.
Then they go beyond that and tell and explain every thing that the victim has , was doing , etc etc.. that is not required to make public..I don't think considering the case if Aarusihi whould had been alive,she would had liked it, that whole world knows ''where is she going , what is she doing , whom she knows , what she eats blah blah ..
So being a sensitive person i personally will request all media channels not to make things tough for the deceased person.
It is a relay unfortunate thing that has happened.She was just going to be 14 , and she was murdered very grossly,It should not be made point of earning money. It should not be used to increase TRPs. It should not be repeated again and again as the Special report - AArushi Murder case - We got it first.
Please don't touch her personal details. Today people across the country even know th e number she had talked. time she had talked.. Place where she was going to give her birthday bash...
It is a pity that we are making money out of all this.
May God rest the Holy sole in Peace.
Saturday, 3 May 2008
Small Things Big Happiness
Sometimes life becomes so greedy of big happiness that we forget that we can be happy with small things also.It is not important to relate happiness to size always .
We plan to gift people something big to make them happy but lot of times we forget that even a small thing like Phone call can make person happy rather than waiting for something big to happen.
Especially it happens when you are in love. i am a firm biliver that nothing can be live or energitic for whole of its life cycle.Same is true with love. It starts with a sharp curve towards up when two people meet and then after certain time it touches its peak. Here is when two people start thinking other than themselves and the relationship graph starts coming down. Here is the point when maturity of the participants come into play. And this is the point where small things start to matter.
The graph will become straight after a point but the time where this point will be based on understanding of two individuals .
And this time of straightening of graph is where small things matter a lot.We should introspect and decide on the things that can create happiness. Chasing big happiness always for big things can lead to delay and frustration.
Humans are made to be happy for small things and forget it so that something new can be exciting.
We plan to gift people something big to make them happy but lot of times we forget that even a small thing like Phone call can make person happy rather than waiting for something big to happen.
Especially it happens when you are in love. i am a firm biliver that nothing can be live or energitic for whole of its life cycle.Same is true with love. It starts with a sharp curve towards up when two people meet and then after certain time it touches its peak. Here is when two people start thinking other than themselves and the relationship graph starts coming down. Here is the point when maturity of the participants come into play. And this is the point where small things start to matter.
The graph will become straight after a point but the time where this point will be based on understanding of two individuals .
And this time of straightening of graph is where small things matter a lot.We should introspect and decide on the things that can create happiness. Chasing big happiness always for big things can lead to delay and frustration.
Humans are made to be happy for small things and forget it so that something new can be exciting.
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